1. What does Commitment mean or look like to you?
2. What do you think you are committed to in life? Ask a friend what they think you are committed to then, if the answers are different, reflect on why that may be.
3. Here’s how others describe Commitment:
Mackenzie K: Choosing to stay at the table, even after you’ve been hurt and triggered and want to walk away. Choosing to stay at the table because you said you would, and you love them and choose them and will fight for them.
Brad K: Resolve or the firm determination to do something.
Leigh Ann E: Resolving, choosing and deciding ahead of time what will be and then having the discipline to follow through on it.
Megan B: Following through, even when you’ve lost the desire to do so!
Mimi V: Making the choice to stick it out BEFORE the bad happens.
Kathy N: Actively sticking with a decision to not let fear hold you back from what needs to be done to be successful.
Ryan H: Consistent and sustained pursuit of your choices.
Kyle H: Disciplined devotion to a conscious decision.
Wendy C: Following through even if it is not convenient or comfortable.
Marlene S: Doing what is right regardless of how you’re treated in return. A choice to stand True.
Charlotte M: The choice to stay loyal to someone or something through any season, because you chose them/it at some point.
4. Our definition: To give of yourself passionately and consistently to something and to choose it’s pursuit even when it’s hard, inconvenient, or the outcome feels unclear.
5. Our favorite quote about Commitment: “You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.” -Margaret Thatcher
6. At ChooseLove.org, we are always trying to take a closer look at practices that are critical to fulfillment, success, and connection - words that are overused, but under-observed. What does it mean to be truly committed to a thing? What does commitment require of you, the Committed?
“In a bacon and eggs breakfast, the chicken was involved — the pig was committed.”
Forgive the morbid analogy, but perhaps it is appropriate. Like with most things related to Love, commitment requires sacrifice - a willingness to give up what is comfortable or convenient or easy to stick to your choices, your path. A deliberate choice to lean into the hard when easy is everywhere.
As a youth and parent speaker, Tyler Durman says, “A commitment to growth is a commitment to pain.”
Kind of a bummer that anything you are truly committed to is going to require pain, isn’t it? But no one ever got stronger in the gym by lifting weights that didn’t challenge them and we would challenge that no one ever finds depth in their relationships to themselves or with others without facing something painful.
It begs the question: what are you willing to be in pain for? What or who would you willingly experience hurt for?
Or perhaps the more poignant question: What are you willing to be the pig for in a bacon and eggs breakfast?
Think about the things that are most important to you in your life right now: are you committed or involved?
Darmeny Jones, a trainer and friend, would ask the groups he worked with, “Are you all in?”
Heads would nod. Thumbs would go up.
Then he would ask, “Can you be more in?”
Thumbs would pause. Heads would slowly nod.
He would end with, “Then you’re not all in.”
At ChooseLove.org, we find ourselves partially “in” all the time. Phone calls will get half our attention. Resolutions will be made, then lost. We’ll do 90% of a project and get bored, tired, frustrated, or lazy.
Involved says, “I’ll do what I can.” Commitment says, “I’ll do whatever it takes.” Involved lends a hand, commitment says, “I’ve got two hands.”
Involvement isn’t a bad thing! We should all get involved with local organizations, causes, events, and anything else we want to offer our help to. But we only have room for so many real commitments - things that we believe in so deeply that the action toward it or to improve on it is non-negotiable. Things that we will walk through pain for - that we will see through the moments of mess and the moments of the seemingly impossible. Commitments to things we couldn’t be more “in” on.
So, what about Love? Are you all in on Love?